Where Do We Go? Artist Playlists. Live Albums. Live Live At the Channel, Boston Anthology Greatest Hits Under One Roof Melbourne, Victoria, Australia. Similar Artists See All. Mark Seymour. Midnight Oil. Hoodoo Gurus.
James Reyne. Mental As Anything. Paul Kelly. Australian Crawl. An SSH server is deployed on port 44 on localhost only. You can expose it on your local machine using iproxy via USB. Q: I love the project! Can I donate? A: Thanks, we love it too! The project does not currently take any donations.
If anyone asks for donations, it's a scam. Q: Where are the sources? I want to write a dark-mode theme and publish the jailbreak as my own.
A: checkra1n is released in binary form only at this stage. We plan to open-source later in We will release the full checkra1n source once we have a Windows GUI version. We had hoped to get there in , but we didn't manage to. Q: When is Windows support coming? We need to write a kernel driver to support Windows which will take time. Rest assured however, we are working hard on it. Latest Release checkra1n 0.
Looking for another OS? See all downloads ». Linux Instructions for installing on all Linux platforms. It smashed into his car at more than 80 miles per hour. Steve ran to help the other driver, whom he found slumped over the steering wheel, bleeding profusely and unresponsive. As he attempted to pull the driver out, he found all the doors refused to budge. Then he pulled the driver from his seat, through the car, and out the door to safety.
What does this have to do with anything? What Steve realized in that moment hit me as hard as his car must have hit that guardrail. I got to get to practice on time. Although he was never some self-obsessed jock who repressed his feelings, football and the self-worth he derived from his competitive drive were central to his identity.
He was behaving as if he was sprinting for the finish line of a race and was going to win a medal when he walked through the front doors of the New York Giants practice facility. How many hoops do you think he would have jumped through if his wife had asked him to stay one more day? How much of a contest might he have turned that into?
Probably a pretty bad one that almost certainly would have been a must-win. Football was who Steve was, just as football was who I was and who Joe Ehrmann was. In that life-changing moment, the absurdity of it—the whole lie—became clear to Steve.
His goal? That might seem strange, considering the guy was a clutch player for a team that played in front of millions of people over the years. But he no longer saw football as a meaningful pursuit, nor did he believe his sports career was a way to be of service to his family and others. I want to have a legacy. And I gravitate towards people like that, because I want that in my own life, and I want to share that with other people as well.
Heck, even a successful human being. Health, wealth, happiness, and love. And being such a man has nothing to do with an NFL championship. After Steve dropped that nugget of truth on me, he gave me a pair of tennis shoes he bought that morning as a surprise gift. Then he got up, left my house, and went off on his way to have more impact on the world. But our self-worth has nothing to do with those things. It has to do with our values and principles. Specifically, our self-worth has less to do with our physical contributions to the world, and much more to do with our relationships and the positive legacy that we leave behind.
Yet how many of us athletes actually became athletes as a defense mechanism for feeling not good enough, not smart enough, or feeling less than? How many of us spend so much time working out that we neglect other skills and emotional connections?
One thing athletes avoid is going deep and getting real. I know that was me for a long time. What I needed—what got me to break through the Athlete Mask—was to find balance. You can find balance right now. Creativity Culture New experiences Connections with other humans Self-worth A healthy relationship with your image Balance Time to do other things you enjoy MEN: Balance is one of those things that are easy to consider from a distance but hard to apply and maintain.
The first step is figuring out what needs to be addressed in your life that is out of balance. What have you been neglecting? Here are five core areas of your life to focus on: 1. Health: mental, physical, emotional 2. Relationships: intimate, family, friends 3. Wealth: finances, career, education, business 4. Spiritual: connecting to a higher power or your spiritual beliefs Rate yourself in each area on a scale of 1 to What would a 10 look like in each area?
Write this down in your journal. What are your values and principles that you can lean on so that you can figure out how to contribute to the world, and to your own happiness, in each of these areas? The place to start is with developing your emotional intelligence, social skills, and your presence in the world outside of physical achievement and athletic accomplishment. The goal for you is to step out of your comfort zone daily!
Start reading and doing things that are intellectually stimulating. Get involved in something with the arts, music, or dance. Do things that develop your brain and your heart and not your biceps. Choose activities that do not reinforce the Athlete Mask.
For me, it was learning guitar in college, joining the school musical, and learning to salsa dance. Have deeper conversations with him.
Be open and vulnerable to show him what that looks like. Communicate those feelings that scare you, and that you think might be scaring him. To support him in creating balance in his life, create a schedule, timeline, or a list of priorities with him so that you include other things in your relationship as a team, and thus in his life. You could volunteer at an animal shelter, for instance.
There are very few things as disarming as a bunch of shelter dogs that just want to play and shower you with love. Ultimately what he is lacking, as a result of his fear of vulnerability, is intimacy.
Find ways to create the connection necessary to build intimacy. If he can drop into his heart and you can hold the space for him to practice intimacy, everyone wins. Count what is in him, not what is on him, if you would know what he is worth—whether rich or poor. By his own account, this man has lived an incredible life. He had a few people who looked out for him: a supportive grandmother, a stepfather who helped build him a basketball court and encouraged him to play.
He lived near the projects, so he saw kids join gangs, and he could have easily gone that way himself. Christmas was not a happy time, but a reminder of just how little he and his family had. Yet, here he was, not just wealthy but conspicuously wealthy. The man I am talking to, and about, is Tai Lopez, an Internet entrepreneur and marketer, whose videos have been viewed hundreds of millions of times.
Videos of him pulling into his garage with his Ferrari or his Lamborghini. Videos of him giving a tour of his mansion with legions of models running around half naked. Even by the exaggerated standards of Los Angeles, it was all a bit much. The results of his steady PR blitz have been impressive.
He has well over three million followers on social media. And he does have a very nice house, I can tell you that. And that was no accident. I also wanted to talk to Tai because money seems so central to his lifestyle and his image, and I wanted to know what that was like.
What do people not understand about money and wealth? What does it feel like to know that some people might see him as a meal ticket? Does having money make him feel like more of a man? But first, out of pure personal curiosity, I just wanted to ask him a simple question: How old are you? He mentioned a pivotal moment that happened when he was 23 or 24 years old, so I asked him how old he was now to put it into context.
He told me that his publicist told him not to say. I must have asked him this question six different ways, but he just would not answer. He joked that hiding his age was one of the masks he wore. Overhearing a conversation about a neighbor who wanted to rent out a cattle farm, Tai took a chance and spoke up when Joel mentioned that he liked the opportunity but was too busy to take advantage. If Joel put up the money, Tai would put up the labor—the sweat equity.
Joel agreed. To pull it off, Tai woke up at a. This was his life, 7 days a week. It must have been backbreaking labor. At the end of the year, Joel and Tai split the profits.
It certainly did for Tai. I understood the emotion emanating from Tai as he spoke. I grew up in a similar fashion. The American Dream seemed far off. I know that intoxicating effect money can have, because I saw it with my brother. I saw a good kid, a talented musician, nearly throw his entire life away to chase a few dollars selling drugs marijuana and LSD.
It ended for him in prison, with a sentence of 6 to 25 years. It nearly killed his dreams and his future. He would spend the next few years looking for his next opportunity, trying to make his next big score. Using his knowledge about land, he created a consulting business to help people buy farms in America.
This is much better. His first big purchase was a Maserati, the Italian luxury sports car with the trident emblem on the grill. I think that desire motivates a lot of the people who have found success in business. I thought they would make me an impressive man. A huge portion of this drive is evolutionary. Before money, it was literally bringing home the bacon. The guy who had the most resources was the most attractive.
As a result, he was the most powerful, the most important, the most manly. Tai described the dangers of money quite well. A pit bull can save your life or it can turn around and kill you. He simply bears up and he does it. As they say it, the audience is supposed to nod its head in agreement. I nodded right along with everyone else. Because I get that feeling. I know what that kind of poverty feels like, and it does not feel good.
I think people born with money, or people to whom money and material things have come easily, often forget this. But I will tell you, not having enough money is very stressful. And people who become crazy once they get money, mark my words, if you had met them 10 years before, they were probably crazy too.
When I saw a nice car drive by, I would feel that shame all over again because I could barely afford to eat. Shame and uncertainty are only a few short steps away from depression and anxiety.
Separately or together, those emotions can drive you to the brink. They can blot out everything else in your life and literally make you crazy. What am I doing wrong? Are all these people better than me? Of course it does.
But at the same time, money does not matter in the way men are taught that it does. Most guys who feel that shame and anxiety attempt to compensate for it. I was no different. Because I felt so low, I would fantasize that someday I would be rich. My wealth would mean that I finally mattered. I could rest easy knowing that I could afford to live up to my obligations as a man, and not be a burden on my family or anyone else.
Thankfully, that shame is gone today. Some see him as a hero. They want to drive nice cars. They want to be surrounded by models in their enormous mansions. They want to be able to hang out with celebrities who come over to their house.
Other guys see him as a fraud or a liar. They obsessively produce videos that question whether Tai rents his exotic cars or if his house is really his. And that kind of self-doubt, especially to a man raised in our current culture, is too crippling not to project outward onto others. The comments online about the interview I did with Tai are a perfect microcosm of this split opinion about him.
Some have even unsubscribed from my podcast because I associated with Tai. Regardless of which side of the aisle you sit on, however, it is hard to deny that Tai wears a version of the Material Mask. Wearing this mask compels you to highlight things that are not beneficial to your ability to establish real, lasting self-worth.
Curating these superficial trappings requires time and energy that you could otherwise use to cultivate the real you hiding behind the Material Mask. Tai has good ideas; he has great ideas. He has talked about the very same subjects I cover in The School of Greatness, for instance, and I agree with many of his theories. Or from backstage at a concert. Or poolside at a private villa. I get it. I have engaged with the world from behind the Material Mask.
You literally feel like a million bucks. Does the thinking go that the good stuff says something about you as a person, as a man? It cuts both ways. It also means that the nicer, fancier, more expensive stuff that other people have says something about them, and it says something about you in relation to them. I complimented Tai on his amazing house. Instead, he compared himself to someone else.
It was the home of billionaire Ron Burkle, a guy who has his own jet and is a personal friend of Bill Clinton. Alanis has sold 60 million records and toured all over the planet. She has been a famous singer-songwriter for more than 2 decades now.
Yet she pointed out how worthless all that is: A lot of people, I think, chase fame to get the attachment stuff they never got. Insecure people can be forgiven for thinking that fame will finally make them feel loved and whole.
What does this actually provide you personally in your soul, in your heart? If I make this money, my parents will respect me. If I make this money, I can get a pretty wife.
If I make this money, it makes me a real man. Is that really what success is supposed to be? Fraught with all this anxiety? Is happiness supposed to be the carrot in front of the donkey— always in our sights, but always out of reach? I asked her how she dealt with the fact that success— money and fame—comes and goes in the music industry. For her, success is the ability to express herself musically which makes sense considering the profession she chose.
And then I have to start having some personal fulfillment, too, because I had professional fulfillment nonstop, and I still have that. I love that. One last Tai story. And conspicuous is what makes you unhappy. It never has, and it never will. Sure, you might be able to pay for a seat at an exclusive dinner table. You cannot purchase connection. And your net worth will never create self-worth, no matter how much the two might seem to be related. Sitting down with Tai reminded me of a conversation I had with Tony Robbins, because my conversation with Tony was the opposite of my conversation with Tai in almost every way.
Tony is a rich dude, no question about it. He wrote a book called Money: Master the Game. During my interview with him for the launch of that book, he told me that his companies are now worth billions of dollars but that the big breakthrough in his life had nothing to do with achieving that kind of material success.
His big a-ha! He was building his business, but like all new endeavors, there were some fits and starts, some ups and downs. He happened to be in the middle of one of those downs. He was broke enough that he walked to the restaurant from Venice Beach instead of driving to save on gas.
As he was finishing his meal, he watched a beautiful woman walk in to eat with her young son. The little boy was wearing a three-piece suit—with a vest! He was polite and mature. Like a gentleman, he pulled the chair out for his mother to sit. Tony was struck by the love and care that this little boy had for his mom. And so, after he paid for his meal, he walked up and introduced himself. As Tony was telling me this story—decades later—I could see the emotion he felt. Tony is a big guy, and yet he was tearing up in front of me about the memory.
I saw you open the door for your lady, I saw you hold out the chair for your lady. Then he walked out of the restaurant and went on with his life.
Think about that: Tony had no money, no way to pay his rent, and he was going to have to consider going hungry for his next several meals. Yet he was euphoric. He told me he basically flew home, he felt so proud of himself. Tony began to cry. How could something like that happen? Were the two events related?
He is painting a picture of what it feels like, as a man, to live beyond scarcity, to live free—to value yourself, your work, your ideas, independent of how others may see them.
I understand that both men probably fly private jets because of convenience, but when Tai does it, it seems more like a status indicator. And I think that is exactly the point. When Tony talks, you hear his story and his ideas. When Tai talks, you see the plane and the models in bandage dresses.
If the online comments for my interview with Tai are any indication, I am not alone in having that impression. That, to my mind, is what a happy, fulfilled man looks like when he has removed his Material Mask.
There is a lot there for Tai too. He just has to believe it. He has to believe that he will pass that test. I honestly believe Tai can get there, just as I believe any man who struggles with this issue can get there. The road to freedom from the Material Mask is not an easy one, because at the end of the road is a healthy sense of self-worth, and that has always been a difficult issue for men in our culture.
This issue is so hard because we have been taught to attach our self-worth to what we have and what we do, to our possessions, our roles in life, and our bank balances.
What we need to realize is that we are valuable, regardless of what we have. This means that what it all comes down to is gratitude! Fulfillment Worthiness Inner peace Attracting people who are interested in who you are, not how much you have Feeling enough Satisfaction with your achievements Gratitude MEN: Live in gratitude.
Someone who is grateful for what he has, no matter how little it is, will be more open to living a joyful life. When we live in gratitude, life gives us more to be grateful for. The practice of gratitude alleviates the constant pressure a man feels to make more, and it can ease the burden of his struggles behind the Material Mask. The man armored by the Material Mask is attached to his results. When he achieves successful results, he feels like a winner, but when he experiences unsuccessful results, he feels like a loser.
An insecure and unhappy man who achieves material success will remain insecure and unhappy. We are all gifts. When you see someone filled with love and joy, it is contagious.
Personally, I start and end each day with the practice of gratitude, and I try to be grateful during as many moments as I can in between. As someone who grew up defensive, aggressive, and in scarcity, I realize I can quickly go back to that place of fear in a moment. And when I do, only bad things happen in my life. Here is what you can do to practice gratitude on a daily basis. I do many of these myself, and you can start them right now: 1. Before you go to sleep, ask the last person you talk to three things they are most grateful for from the day, and in reply tell them what you are grateful for from the day too.
My voicemail message asks people to share what they are most grateful for when they leave a message. Feel free to copy the idea. Start meetings with your team or business partners with a moment that allows everyone to share what they are grateful for.
These are all ways to cultivate an attitude of gratitude that, in turn, will bring more joy into your life and will open you up to greater relationships in your life. One of the ways you can do this is by acknowledging the things you are most grateful for about the men in your life. At some point during the last 10 years, these men have held a book by Neil that features a black cover and binding, a red ribbon inside, and a glitzy gold edge.
The book has the weight, feel, and look of the Bible—and for millions of modern men, it is a bible. It teaches them the superpower of sex. Neil is the undisputed master of picking up women.
Neil describes the scene in his book The Truth: This is the kind of woman I fantasized about as a teenager: an indiscriminate one. Once he is back in the States, he moves in with three—yes, three—girlfriends. Chaos ensues. Instead of sleeping on silk sheets with all these beauties, he is on the couch. That time on the couch was the brief period just before it all fell apart—in a massive way. There were painful exits, an axe-wielding jealous ex, broken hearts and spirits, and, at the bottom of it all, a crushed and confused Neil.
When Neil began writing The Game, he was, by his own admission, a sexual amateur. Worse than that, he was what he calls an AFC average frustrated chump. Strauss told his editor that he wanted to write about this community because it was interesting. In reality, he was tired of being alone and feeling like a loser. At one sad point in his life, Neil had even considered finding a mail-order bride. So Neil decided he would write a book about pickup artists as a way to learn about how to meet women.
He not only became a pickup artist himself, but because he is brilliant, funny, and well-spoken, he became the greatest pickup artist in the world. Then he became a kind of pickup artist guru: He built a program to teach other men what he knew, training men in the art of finding and seducing women. By the time the book was published and took off, he had money, charm, looks, and everything his childhood-self thought was important—including the ability to seduce pretty much any woman his heart desired.
He was not just a man, he was The Man. He became a rock star without ever having to pick up the guitar. I know what most guys are thinking right now. I want that too. There were times in my twenties when it seemed like I had a new date every night of the week.
It reminds me of an exchange on season five of Mad Men. And yet the math always turns out to be disappointing. As exhausting and futile as the approach is for men, think about what it must be like for the women who are chased and objectified—seen as nothing more than notches in a bedpost to the guy she might have been genuinely interested in. Chris Lee, a brilliant transformational coach whom I referenced in a previous chapter, is one of the people I admire most on these subjects.
More than 3 years ago, I started doing work with Chris to deal with my own masks and struggles with masculinity. Today, when he and I talk about these issues, he cuts to the core in a no-excuses, no-holds-barred way that always helps me. It means you can bring some young girl alongside of yourself and then use her. Use her to either gratify some kind of physical need, or use her to validate some kind of masculine insecurity. That certainly does not make you a man—it makes you a user of other human beings.
For most boys, junior high and high school is a time when they struggle to figure out sex, have sex, and then brag about having had sex. This mindset probably does not sound particularly shocking to most people.
Every after school special and TV show I watched growing up that featured school-age children eventually had an episode dealing with the anxiety of sex, virginity, and peer pressure. It continues well into college. That was certainly my experience. I always thought about sex in high school. I might even have obsessed about it.
And I used to eat sweets all the time, every day. I remember during freshman year there was a senior, one of the best-looking girls in school, who was always flirting with me. One day she wanted to take me out to her car to have sex with me a typical high school story, right?
I remember being so sexually excited, yet terribly afraid at the same time. I had a couple of girlfriends throughout high school, and I always wanted to have sex with them if they would have wanted to. My three older siblings all lost their virginity by 16 or earlier, and I wanted to wait until I was a legal adult to make that decision. In the article, the authors recognized that college-age men, especially in fraternities, who failed to meet the stereotypical definitions of masculinity men kind of like Neil were more likely to turn to more negative forms of male socialization in order to play catch-up in the male world.
That meant binge drinking, fighting, and casual sex with lots of partners. Or worse, you get stuck in the cycle. If he saw a woman on an airplane, he sized her up and pondered the odds of jumping into bed with her.
If he was in a relationship, he strayed. Sex dominated his thoughts, muscling out everything else. Hitting rock bottom, losing the woman he loved, was, for him, the start of the search for answers. He checked himself into a facility that treats sex addicts and began a path that would lead him to completely rewire his brain and reboot the operating system that controlled all of his urges. And what resulted, as he told me, was some truth: His Sexual Mask had taken over his life and had wrecked it.
The freedom was in the commitments. And going through the processes, by which I was actually able to kind of get rid of my baggage and be intimate in a relationship and not feel trapped, just opened up everything. There are times when my podcast ends up becoming a kind of pseudo- counseling session just for me. Sometimes, this makes me nervous. Would you want your therapy broadcast to millions of people? He had caught me at a particularly appropriate time.
Remember that this book opened with the story of the tour for my first book. I had just broken up with my longtime girlfriend, in part because what I thought I wanted was unlimited freedom from any and all constraints, including the sexual ones. I was now a bestselling author and had a seven-figure business—did I really want to commit my life to just one woman?
Settling down in a relationship? That has the word settle in it. Who wants to settle? With more accomplishments, financial success, and reaching a level of age maturity, I noticed more and more women giving me attention and making themselves available.
Yet each morning on my book tour, the feelings of doubt I told you about in the beginning of this book would creep up on me: What am I doing? Why am I missing my ex? Was this really what freedom is supposed to feel like? Girls, he said, were his Bane, as in the villain in Batman. That drive for more, more, more, was an exhilarating challenge, but it was also the bane of his existence.
And he had suffered. I thought I was a good guy. Why would I hurt somebody like that who loves me? Why would I break her heart? Why would I ruin my future? Those are good, tough questions.
Questions I think many men struggle with. I know I did. And they are also the questions we do our best to avoid answering. If you want to talk about feelings or love or whether your sex life is really a positive experience for everyone involved, forget about fitting in. So what ends up happening is sort of predictable: This very powerful force in our lives is left unexamined.
We fall into and out of relationships, into and out of sexual partners, and we barely take stock. Add to that the especially powerful effect of pornography—which is now more readily available than water—and you have a recipe for a boiling cauldron of issues. There is a darkness there, in a lot of guys. Matthew broke it down for me when we talked at his home in Los Angeles: If you watch porn these days, it is disproportionately aggressive.
For Neil, the issues were deeper. He had a lot of childhood struggle to work through: I started to sort of learn about what unknown, unconscious hidden forces were operating on me that made me make this decision.
Largely, having a depressed, controlling mother and parents in a bad relationship, if that sounds familiar at all. I learned all about the fears of intimacy I had, the fears of being controlled, the fears of being smothered. The idea that I kind of have to take care of someone, then I resent them for a choice I made.
It was still a long, painful road from there to his recovery, but Neil had at least gotten a handle on the aspects of his sex life that were so perplexing. Call it one of the paradoxes of masculinity: Sex, the thing that confuses and bothers us the most, is the one topic that we can only talk about in the form of jokes or one-upmanship. In this way, the Sexual Mask is probably the most powerful one of the bunch.
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